Game of Thrones: Season 5, Episode 10 (Mother's Mercy)

AHHHH! Crazy finale time! And this is my last Game of Thrones review for the year so let's go all out. "Mother's Mercy" certainly isn't short of things to talk about and obviously, if you haven't seen it yet, go away. This is as spoiler-y as spoilers get. This one was directed and written by the same dream team as last episode, David Nutter and showrunners Dan/David, respectively. Realistically, except for George R. R. Martin (who isn't writing for Game of Thrones anymore, allegedly), no one but Dave and Dan, who know the inner workings inside and out, should be writing the finale. Our talented directed, Nutter, also doesn't disappointed.

What We Liked:

• Stannis marches to war with only half of his men, once the sellswords have abandoned him and taken his horses. Stannis, being the antithesis of a sellsword must push forward. The moment we remember that Ramsay is meeting him on the battlefield is twinged with terror and intrigue and, Stannis goes out swinging just like we'd expect him to. He's limping, and he's the same age as the two men in front of him combined, but he's going to keep swinging even when he's bleeding out. While last week, many of us felt that Stannis died spiritually when he allowed Shireen to die, this was a little bit of a saving grace before his body soon followed. He was anapologetic: he had no reason to explain himself to Brienne and he definitely wasn't going to beg, but I think that in some way, especially after Shireen and Selyse, he was happy to see death. (+10)
• It seems Brienne is the one to deliver the final blow to Stannis (though we do not see this and cannot yet confirm), and the late Renly Baratheon gets his justice. It's a vow that we've forgotten for quite a few seasons now, but it's nice to see that Brienne has held strong to this, and to remember that Renly is who Brienne is first and foremost loyal to. At least we got someone's happy ending in this episode! (+10), 
• While Ramsay is out, Myranda and Reek find Sansa causing mischief outside of her room, but right before that she-devil can mutilate Sansa and continue to verbally abuse her, Reek pushes her to her death. Once-Again-Theon and Sansa jump off the Winterfell walls, presumably into some feet of snow (I doubt they are dead). I loved to hate the Myranda-Sansa dynamic because it was atypical of what was becoming the default "evil male sexually abuses female in some way", it was a more dynamic and human kind of evil, stemming from jealousy but no less immoral. I wasn't constantly rolling my eyes at Myranda, and this tirade, unlike many parts of Game of Thrones, made me truly uncomfortable. Myranda is somehow both so sadistic and so human, not some evil caricature, and the realness of her was terrifying. I was mostly relieved, but felt a slew of emotions when she plummeted to her death. That was quickly interrupted by my mixed feelings for Reek/Theon (again, mostly positive). It's a lot to chew on, but we receive it all very viscerally so that it's not overwhelming. (+15)
• Cersei confesses (kind of) to her sins and then does the walk of humility, naked and shaven, from the sept all the way back to the Red Keep, where she meets the newest Kingsguard, the silent and swollen Ser Robert Strong. This part felt drawn out in comparison to a lot of the rest of the episode, and I feel like it didn't live up to its potential-- I wasn't exactly sure why the scene had to cover the entire walk back to the Red Keep, either, including what felt like 10 minutes of straight profanity. That doesn't mean it doesn't hit some good points, though. Crying Cersei, with her feet bloodied, felt important for us to see, as well as how she differed from beginning to end. (+10)
• Jaime, Myrcella, Bronn, and Trystane sail away from Dorne. Right as Jaime and Myrcella have a kind-of-cute-kind-of-weird "I'm your incestual father" moment, Myrcella is poisoned and collapses. I actually enjoyed the Jaime-Myrcella conversation in this weird way, but this all felt rushed, like they really wanted it in the season finale to fit with the rest of the story arcs, so they put it in before it should've happened. (+5) 
• Arya kills Meryn Trant in a brothel in the most brutal way we can imagine, and it's perfect. I took longer than I'd like to admit for me to realize that the last girl was Arya, but she leaps on her with such a ferocity that I have to applaud everyone involved. Arya also delivers this absolutely stellar line, which completely sums up her entire character: she reminds Meryn Trant of who she is, and then tells him that he's no one before slitting his throat. Arya is deeply grounded in her identity and killing Meryn was definitely also that. I can't sum up this line any better than that line. (+15) 
• Arya is blinded by Jaqen for taking a life that doesn't belong to her. I like his little trick of pretending to kill himself: it's shocking but it actually makes sense, because it reveals that a) Arya is not ready to handle death and b) Arya is still attached to the notion of having friends, and the importance of keeping them alive. (+5) 
• Daenerys is found by a Khalasar, so we may assume she is in the Dothraki sea, slightly east and much farther inland than Meereen. Drogon is close at hand, but seemingly a little lazy to go anywhere. This wasn't super special, but keeping us excited for the next season! (+5)
• Jon is stabbed by his brothers for making peace with the wildlings. The final perpetrator is Olly, as they each claim, "for the Watch." while doing so. We pan out with a shot of Jon Snow heavily bleeding out into the snow. I wish I had more to say about this, but it is what it is. It's heartbreaking and real and honestly I'm still processing what this means (Is he really dead? Will Melisandre bring him back? What is Ghost going to do about this?). More things to look forward to for next season, but if Jon really is dead.... we need a moment of silence for him. The final shot is an absolutely perfect one to wrap the season up with. It's foreboding and shocking, visually beautiful and heartwrenching. My heart truly goes out on this one. (+10) 
• The naked woman confronting Cersei is also joined by a naked man which is a nice, weird step towards equality, because the age-old defense to gratuitous female nudity in fantasy media is, "it's a part of nature" but we very very rarely see male nudity. (+5)
• Jon and Sam have bro chats and conclude that Sam is gettin' it, and this is heartwarming in the fact that they just seem like regular guys-- almost like it's Kit and John talking and not Jon and Sam. (+5)

What We Didn't Like: 

• Stannis finds that Selyse has hung herself in the wake of an unusually sudden wave of guilt, brought on by the death of Shireen in episode 9. It's predictable and out-of-the-blue at the same time. As the guard approached Stannis, I literally muttered under my breath, "Selyse hung herself". Lo and behold. But up until her little outburst in episode 9, Selyse would constantly propose to Stannis getting rid of Shireen and trying again for a male heir. Her character was a lazy plotpoint and a foil, not a character. (-5)
• The naked Cersei teetered between fanservice-y and purposeful, but wasn't deliberate enough to definitively be either. (-5) 
• Varys magically arrives in Meereen to help Tyrion, Grey Worm, and Missandei and I feel like this would have been a better thing to introduce in S6E1, instead of cramming it into the backend of the finale, maybe. 

Bonus: 

Ian Beattie (Meryn Trant) tweets Miltos Yerolemou (Syrio Forel) and it's endearingly hilarious

@miltosyerolemou you're welcome you water dancing little git

— Ian Beattie (@ianbeattie_ian) June 15, 2015

Another bonus: Kit Harington says he's been informed that he really is dead, and will not be returning, but this wouldn't be the first time an actor has leaked fake information to mislead the press regarding GoT deaths, so we'll see. Kit's name also appeared on the billing for Season 6 earlier in the year, unless something has changed since then. 

This season has gotten better and worse. As a book reader, it has been both much more exciting and frustrating. Of course, Dan and David have their work cut out for them now that they're diverging from the books and there is allegedly some bad blood between them and GRRM. This season has been unbelievable in so many ways, both good and bad, and it's clear that Season 6 is going to be even more controversial.

Final Score: 85 (whoa and we finish off the season with a high score!) 

Game of Thrones: Season 5, Episode 8 (Hardhome Review)

We're starting to draw to a close with only 2 episodes left, and so naturally, Episode 8 is set up to be a strong one. "Hardhome," named after the wildling settlement that Jon and Tormund travel to which takes up about half the episode, was directed by Miguel Sapochnik and was written by our (usually) lovely showrunners, David Benioff and Dan Weiss. In an action-heavy episode like this, it's the directing that stands out for me, particularly during Arya's scenes by the harbour and following Jon. It added a constantly-interesting tone to what could have been a really long, boring war scene (see The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies).

Recap:

• Tyrion advises Daenerys to continue Jorah's exile and he signs up for the fighting pits. Tyrion, on the other hand, convinces Daenerys to keep him. 
• Cersei refuses to confess her sins but is literally drinking water off of the cell floors so, we don't really know what her pride is doing to her anymore.
• Arya assumes her first Faceless Man identity: Lana the Oyster Seller. Bookreaders will identify this as the Cat of the Canals arc. 
• Theon admits to Sansa that Bran and Rickon (who's Rickon?) are still alive. 
• Sam tells Olly that Jon is "doing what is right even though other people may not see it" but Olly seems to be harbouring some resentment for the Free Folk
• Jon and Tormund convince some of the Free Folk to sail back to the wall but are ambushed by the White Walkers and their army of Wights. 

CGI heavy but beautiful!

What We Liked: 

• Love them or hate them (just kidding, no one hates Tyrion) there's something deeply satisfying about Tyrion and Daenerys matching wits, and nobody was better to write their dialogue than D&D. Emilia Clarke and Peter Dinklage also do stellar acting jobs. I was so excited for the next lines during their scenes. Everyone involved in it was a powerhouse, including the moment Jorah's (Iain Glen) face falls in despair at Tyrion's words (+10)
• Following Arya/Lana down the harbour was exciting; we're trying to figure out what she should be seeing, but we have to admit that Arya at this point is probably more keen than we are. It's all a little unclear at first: What is the chronology of these events? Is he explain what happened for many days (because Lana already has a regular morning customer) or what is going to happen? Wait, is that really vinegar or is that poison? Oh, just vinegar. Overrall, it has set us up for some good stuff. (+10)
• I am feeling the relief that Sansa feels knowing her brothers are alive! (+5) 
• The Sam and Olly scene is a little bit slow and drudging, but we're definitely seeing some cogs turn in Olly's head that will either get you thinking, or confirm your suspicions. Highlight the space below with your cursor for spoilers (suggested only for book readers). (+5)
  [Olly is going to be the one to stab Jon at the end of the season. ] 
• Tormund + Jon + Dolorous Edd running to safety scene! Let's be honest, as good as the Hardhome sequence is, all I really care about are if these 3 characters are going to be ok. I mean, we know Jon is ok. So I only really care about his 2 companions. Thank you for neatly tying it up with landing them all in the same boat, while they run for their lives in a Powerpuff-girls-esque fashion. (+5)
• Jon Snow's sword, Ice, has successfully destroyed a White Walker? WHOA ok read that again, because THIS IS A BIG DEAL. Is it possible that, not only obsidian, but Valyrian Steel can destroy the White Walkers??? It's a very rare metal now that Valyria (the Targaeryn homeland and the only people who knew how to forge it) has been destroyed, but that could completely change the White Walker game. It does hint, however that the secret to Valyrian steel is forging it with dragon glass, which is plentiful in Valyria. Jon Snow just rolls with it because he's in the middle of battle, and so do we, but this has certainly been noted. Fun fact: Brienne/Jaime's Oathkeeper is also Valyrian steel (+15)
• Nice way to introduction of the Wights and the White Walkers. The sudden quiet at the gates, the 4 stoic horseman on the ridge, and the army of the dead (the Wildling mother included) staring the Night's Watch down. It creates an unsettling quiet amongst a very, very loud scene. (+5)
• Kit Harington (Jon Snow) says that they filmed only a minute a day, but it was still the most difficult thing he'd ever done. He does so well though. (+5)
• And a little extra for not only the appearance of the giant Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun, but the hilarious moment when you think he can't come with them on the baots, and instead just walks into the ocean. (+5)

If you need an idea of where Hardhome is, it's at the easternmost tip.

What We Didn't Like: 

• I actually like following Cersei, and watching her drink water off the ground was almost difficult. But the length of this scene, which didn't really take us anywhere new except to maybe watch her get taken down a few notches, had me asking, "But why?" (-5)
• Am I the only one who finds it super unconvincing that Lana the Oyster Selling urchin child is so clean? It was so distracting in the worst way.
• It was pretty obvious when the wildling woman sent her children on a boat without her and someone pipes up "but what about you?" that she's going to die. It was more of a waiting game than a shock, and when the wight children stare her down I audibly said "Oh. There she goes." I'm a little disappointed by how cliched this was set up. (-10)

The battle at Hardhome was more dizzying that I would like. Was it the camerawork, or a deliberate choice that made it impossible to tell if the Free Folk were being stabbed or the wights? While usually, this is a complete write off for me, the plot was continually addressed, and it did come off more as chaos than pointless violence. Especially with the ear-ringing sound when Jon falls that cuts straight through the middle of the scene. 

There are also some awkward plot holes. Seriously, WHY IS LANA THE OYSTER GIRL SO CLEAN? and Sansa is undoubtedly stronger than the deteriorating Reek at this point, why did she just let him go without asking anything more? Oh. Because they had to fit everything into an hour of screen time.

Still, for the most part, this was an exciting episode, and I liked that for once, we got to follow one arc for 20+ minutes, rather than digesting everything at a prescribed rate of a couple minutes at a time.

Final Score: 50

Game of Thrones: Season 5, Episode 7

We're nearing to the close with "The Gift" and this week's episode is directed by Miguel Sapochnik (another first-timer) and written by the Showrunners themselves, David Benioff and Dan Weiss. Miguel's directing is more distinct than the rest of the season, with more variety of shots, and while a lot of people-- myself included-- may sometimes question David and Dan's creative choices with the plot, they've got a strong handle on the characters and how to write them. So let's recap!

• Maester Aemon passes away
• Sansa Stark is locked away and abused; Ramsay catches Theon trying to help her
• Melisandre suggests Stannis sacrifice Shireen and he's disgusted. 
• Gilly and Sam get attacked by Night's Watchmen and are saved by Ghost
• Olenna Tyrell tries to convince the High Sparrow to free her grandchildren from imprisonment 
• Myrcella tells her uncle/father Jaime that Dorne is her home and she doesn't want to go back
• Bronn and the Sandsnakes are trapped in opposing Dornish cells
• Jorah and Tyrion finally reach Danaerys after being sold to a slaveowner 
• Tommen is distraught without Margaery and Cersei offers to bring her back but is thrown in the black cells herself instead

What We Liked:

• Before being burned on the funeral pyre, the last thing Maester Aemon sees his little brother Egg (Aegon V Targaryen, Danaerys' great grandfather). He says "Oh Egg! I dreamed I was old." This is another in-book line that I'm so happy that they kept in. Because Aemon has been blind for so many years on his deathbed, and he finally again gets to see his little brother, and he thinks that he's woken up from a terrible, long dream. We're glad he died peacefully: I feel like everyone can agree on that. It's just too bad that, if he had any information about Jon Snow's birthparents, it died with him. (+10)
• While I am not comfortable with all of the sexual violence in this show (it's getting harder to watch, not easier), the characters are nothing if not realistic. Ramsay gave us a glimmer of hope that he wasn't going to absolutely abuse Sansa but-- of course he has to-- it's in his nature. And they don't need to show that, just what it's doing to her. It's breaking her. Sansa and Theon have now traded places, with Theon being spineless and Sansa calling the shots in this dynamic. She doesn't take no for an answer, and demands he lights the candle in the tower. And he almost does. There's not some blatant message here, it just happens, and that's great. It's maybe a testament to the potential Theon almost had. He was even willing to light the candle and go so far as to take it to the tower. But in the face of someone with a bigger bite, Theon caves. And I think that, no matter what name he goes by, that's who he is at the heart of his being. (+5)
• We're not entirely sure what Melisandre's game is, or even if she's mostly magic or mostly crazy, but we know now that she needs to slow her ropes. Stannis is a man of straight lines. The quickest course of action while still being moral. He is disgusted at the thought of sacrificing his daughter: it's out of the question, and in a brutal world like Westeros, that's admirable. Still, he says, "We march to victory or we march to defeat but we go forward. Only forward." That, also, is what Stannis is. The opposite of Theon: he sees the straight line and walks it all the way through, even if there's nothing but death on the other side. (+10)
• Sam the Slayer, don't you ever give up. I mean, I genuinely thought we'd see some sort of plot twist here and you'd be dead, but you keep on kickin'. 4 for you, Sam Tarly. (+4)
• Olenna finally meets The High Sparrow, a man who cannot be bought or threatened, and she's lost. Cersei has similar troubles. I think the High Sparrow, without making direct commentary, embodies what religion is. It is an empowering thing, meant to give power to the people. It is often with good intentions, and often does so much good in the world, but such an ironclad faith can lead a person down a dangerously misguided road. He believes so deeply that he is right-- and he is in a lot of respects. "A Man of the People" Olenna calls him, because he lives like a beggar and treats everyone equally. But that only contributes to blindness when he's wrong, like in imprisoning Ser Loras for his sexual preference. Entertaining, and meaningful. (+10)
• Cersei being sent to the black cells. Wow. First of all, her little speech to Tommen captures (again) exactly who she is: a proud lion mother protecting her cubs. If she is crazy, it's only because love for her children has driven her there. (+5)
• It's such an excellently subtle conversation that she has with the High Sparrow, too. There's not a single line that causes everyone to make a snap realization: those lines are enjoyable but they're very common. This is a very subtle dance, that embodies the Game of Thrones surrounding Cersei. She thinks she's got the High Sparrow in her hands the whole time until she realizes she doesn't. It's a slow turning in the conversation, like seeing a dagger just a second before it hits you. Unguarded around who she thinks she can trust, Cersei has finally misstepped and found herself in an excitingly miserable position. Excellently written, and Lena Heady herself, who plays Cersei, is one of my favourite actors. She's so talented. (+10)
• Most of the characters were written so impressively: at least the ones Dan and David have had time to get to know.  While they're still getting their handle on the Sandsnakes, they really got to the heart of what their regulars are all about, and then let the plot revolve around that, which is a really huge plus, and really works in their favour. (+10)

What We Didn't Like:

• While Bronn's got a singing voice like oak trees and honey, I couldn't appreciate the Dornish cells scene. Did Tyene have it down to the exact second that he'd start to pass out? Was she really doing all of this so that he'd call her the most beautiful woman in the world? And I know that Tyene is a poisons master, but I feel like that should have been slipped in earlier so that this "oh btw you were infected with slow acting poison hours ago" didn't come out of nowhere. It had something there, but it was so contrived and poorly executed that the whole thing fell flat. The gratuitous nudity and Bronn's singing voice are the only things about this scene that an audience member might enjoy. (-5) FUN FACT: Bronn, played by Jerome Flynn, used to be in a British singing duo called Robson and Jerome. Look 'em up. He's got blonde hair. 
• WHY WOULD YOU SEND JORAH AWAY??? This isn't really a fault of the show, but SERIOUSLY Danaerys? At least make it look like you're trying to think about your decisions.
• Myrcella is randomly so angsty? I mean, she loves her uncle (*cough* father *cough*) Jaime, and Myrcella is a smart girl. I understand not wanting to go back to King's Landing-- they have not been her family for years-- but why is she throwing a teenage tantrum right down to the "you don't even know me!" cliches? (-5)
• Clunky pacing. This is the biggest misgiving in the episode. It has a lot of strong, individual scenes and storylines but the pacing from one storyline to another and then back again seemed so unsmooth. Was it the cuts? Was it just how the writing ended up? I honestly can't tell, but the episode seemed to drudge by without any overarching highpoint-low-point. I understand that in episode 7, there are a lot of plot-bombs to drop ("WHOA HOW IS SHE GOING TO REACT TO TYRION WHOAAAA"), but each scene seemed so contained within itself, it didn't feel natural. (-5)

Final Score: 49

Ultimately, S05E07 is a really solid episode. It just doesn't come together as one, single episode. I feel like I could more accurately describe it as a solid set of mini-episodes. While it wasn't put together as neatly as it could/should have been, it still is solid in the content, both entertaining and subtextual. Only 3 more weeks to go before the countdown for Season 6 begins!

Game of Thrones: Season 5, Episode 6 Review

And we're back! This episode's title is "Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken". Fun fact! I will be tattooing that on my body hopefully within the month. This episode was directed and written by the same dream-team Jeremy Podeswa and Bryan Cogman that stole back my heart last week! Unfortunately, if you've read anything about this episode already, you know people aren't super happy with it. ESPECIALLY the last scene with Sansa and Ramsay. But we'll get to that.

Re-cap time:

• Arya is awoken by Jaqen to finally see what's called the Hall of Faces. 
• The Sandsnakes clash with Jamie and Bronn in Dorne, Myrcella is ripped from Trystane
• Jorah and Tyrion are caught by slavers but Tyrion convinces them to let Jorah in the fighting pits instead
• Petyr goes to King's Landing to strike a deal with Cersei
• Olenna goes to King's Landing to put Cersei in her place (and fails)
• Loras is put on trial 
• Sansa and Ramsay are married and they.. (ahem) consummate. 

After S05E06, some people seem to have quit the show entirely while others are fiercly defending it so I'd chalk this episode up to a misstep overrall. I don't think I'd assert to feel quite that strongly for either favour, but I'd agree that this episode was far from Game of Thrones' best work. The directing was a little unimaginative, but that's forgivable: it's the writing that's the weakpoint.  It seems that this tag team (Podeswa and Cogman) finds their strength in ending strong. 

What We Liked:

• Areo Hotah is a great addition to the cast. I'm a little disappointed with Game of Thrones' casting directors (Nina Gold and Robert Sterne) at times, because it seems like all of the black people in Westeros are slavers or henchmen. I love Areo Hotah. While stoic, he's redeemingly loyal, and doesn't back down. To Jaime, he says something to the effect of, "it would have been a good fight when you had two hands". This ray of sunshine gets (+5).
• "Cock merchant". Nice. While I find it hard to believe Jorah and Tyrion didn't see that army of slavers behind them sooner, it was still an entertaining scene. (+5)
• Arya gets a rude awakening. She's not a little girl anymore. Jaqen isn't protecting her, and he isn't all coy smiles and impressive theatrics anymore. Now that he's teaching her something, you bet that Arya not getting the client service anymore. (+5)
• Petyr's deal with Cersei is clever and satisfying. I love that wash of realization when all of Petyr's plans come together. It was long enough coming, and now I have something to  actually be excited about in coming episodes. (+5)
• It's always nice to see Olenna in her sassy IDGAF glory. (+5)
• Loras' trial. Cersei does have her sly, "you can't arrest the Queen's brother!" moment, and I like the way they convicted Margaery-- for sticking by her brother, she made a big mistake. (+5)
• Sansa and Ramsay. Here's the plotpoint that everyone and their mothers seemed to hate: especially feminists. Don't get me wrong, I definitely consider myself one. The issue here is that Dan and David seem like they're just inserting gratuitous sexual violence against women for exhibition's sake and not for plot. But I disagree! While I would definitely like to stop seeing our strong female character's trampled on, I would argue that this scene had point. And I saw it before Bryan Cogman had to release a statement about it where he says that he deliberately made those writing choices because he believes that Sansa was making a grown woman’s choice by walking into that room. Petyr says "do anything to save your home" and Sansa, willing but not happy, does anything to save her home. The Bolton's have invaded every inch of what Sansa could call just that, including her body, but she's going to let her anger turn into a ruthless wrath once she gets the chance. Furthermore, a lot of people argued that, since Sansa isn't even there in the books, this sexual assault didn't need to be added in: however (and I don't think the people who asserted that even read the books)-- the girl who is there in Sansa place does have that happen to her-- and worse. I actually liked what this scene did, even if the scene itself made me uncomfortable. (+10)

What We Didn't Like:

• The Hall of Faces was disappointingly uncreative. Let me clarify: I won't take off points, because it wasn't bad or anything, I just feel like this place could have been either shot or designed so much grander. It was still cool to look at, but it wasn't the "wow" moment that I felt like it should have been. 
• The Sandsnakes' encounter with Jamie and Bronn is unexciting. Seriously? These are 5 formidable fighters (Ok, maybe 4. Tyene is a poisons master, but not wild with a weapon). This rarely occurs, but I was actually actively bored with the scene. I looked away a few times. I thought it was dull, packaged too neatly and not chaotic enough to be exciting. And that timeline of events was also too smooth. Did it all have to be shot in the same location? The director and the choreographer (do they even have one anymore? Seriously.) really dropped the ball on this scene. (-5)
• The "birthmark"  plot point. Seriously? They didn't even try to come up with any defense for that? It just seemed sloppy, especially because that's the only conversation we hear Loras and Olyvar having. And why did he sell Loras out in the first place?? Just so many holes in this. It didn't come across as fast paced so much as disorienting. Give us more please! (-5)

Final score: +30. 

Wow, that's half of what it was last week, and not because it made a lot of mistakes. Just because there wasn't a lot in here to work with. Again, it wasn't a terrible episode. Unlike some people it seems, I don't plan to quit Game of Thrones anytime soon. But this episode lost a lot of it's potential. 

Besides, even if a lot of fans hated the last scene, at least Sophie Turner (Sansa) enjoyed it. 

All images courtesy of Tumblr

Game of Thrones: Season 5, Episode 5

Let's re-cap before we start. This one was written by Bryan Cogman (who has done this 3 times before for Game of Thrones, since season 1) and directed by Jeremy Podeswa (who is new). I was quite happy with the directing, because it felt like everything was "in the right place". We were left satisfied and dissatisfied at all the right times. The writing didn't feel very in-tune with the characters, but there were some single lines that really sunk in well.

 Re-cap Time: 

• Brienne followed Sansa to Winterfell
• Tensions between Ramsay, Miranda, and Sansa are rising as Sansa finds Reek
• Jon recruits Tormund Giantsbane to lead in the task of bringing Wildlings back to Castle Black
• Stannis is off to Winterfell
• Grey Worm lives
• Daenerys has decided to marry Hizdahr zo Loraq
• Tyrion and Jorah pass through The Doom in Valyria where Jorah contracts greyscale

Personally, I've been opposed to some of the creative choices that the showrunners Dan Weiss and Dave Benioff have been making with the books-- and I'm not the only one. Even George R. R. Martin and his editor have been unhappy with some changes, notably the death of Barristan Selmy last week, which completely excludes show-watchers from his unbelievably awesome character arc later on:

WHAT? #GameOfThrones Not loving these huge divergences. Read the books if you want to know the story the way the author intended it.

— Jane Johnson (@JaneJohnsonBakr) May 4, 2015

After watching Episode 4, my boyfriend texted me "you're going to love this episode!!" and was profoundly surprised when I, in fact, did not. Obviously I still love the series, but Game of Thrones had a little bit of redeeming to do.

I think that this episode (and all of its creative choices) did exactly that!

What we liked: 

• Brienne following Sansa: I like that they add an extra player into that mess so that things can go to hell at any point. (+5)
• Bolton family dinner. Nice. The added dynamic with Reek was slow in a good way: I felt like I was in someone else's awkward moment, and the line "the place isn't stranger, it's the people" is the perfect balance of biting and fierce. You go, Sansa! (+5)
• Stannis quietly correcting grammar, ugh wow I love it so much, it was just such a nice touch, Stannis is really growing on me wow yes. (+5)
• YES. I think the internet pretty much confirmed Barristan's death before the show did, so I guess I assumed Grey Worm was tacked on there too. Nice to see him up and kicking. His love-speech for Missandei was a little bit forced but we'll let that slide (+10)
• Daenerys finally makes a good decision and marries Hizdahr (not to mention she does it with an awesome one liner: "luckily, the suitor is already on his knees") (+10)
• Tyrion and Jorah are attacked by Stonemen: while the makeup was disappointingly unimaginative, the scene itself was excellent and exciting, and dragging Tyrion down into the depths followed by a fade-to-black was elegantly scary. (+10)
• This is, I think, the best part of the episode, and the best creative decision Dan and David have made thusfar: Jorah gets greyscale. Bookreaders are expecting it to be Tyrion: we're lulled into false comfort for a brief moment when we learn that he's fine. This was a great choice and it reminds us that no one is safe. Unlike Barristan's death, this felt like purposeful shock. (+20)

What we didn't like: 

• Ramsay the passionate lover?? It seemed a bit like gratuitous sex to me. It's nice to see their dysfunctional relationship from the inside, but something about this scene didn't sit right with their characters. I think it's the dialogue. (-5)

Overrall, the episode wasn't very "WOW" but I definitely think it made a solid effort, with all of the pieces moulding together quite nicely. I could only think of one minor thing that I didn't like, and I think that the episode doesn't have any blaring weakpoints. Nice! I'm excited for next week.

Final Score: 60

Game of Thrones: Season 5, Episode 2

BEFORE THIS POST: I will be in Japan for 10 days starting tomorrow. I queued posts for regular blogging, but updates will come-- be home on the 30th!

[Warning: these are spoilers for Game of Thrones book and show watchers]

Hits

• The House of Black and White/The Titan of Braavos are stunning and satisfying 100%:
  Hi... Can you say beautiful? If you couldn't before this episode, you'll be able to now. The House of Black and White is not as temple-like and sacred as I think it should have been. After all, people come to the House of Black and White to be taken care of, for a peaceful death. The ill and the wounded bleed or pass out and the priests take care of the bodies. It's a temple to the Many-Faced Gods above all else. This looks more like a fortress. Still, it was beautiful. The doors, for one. The Titan of Braavos was also wonderful. We already earned a glance of this a while ago, but now we get a little bit of context-- it is the protector of Braavos. And it's breathtaking.
• I've always wondered, now I know: The Kindly Old Man is Jaqen H'ghar
  YES! There are a lot of non-canon things that give me a sour taste in my mouth. I immediately ask if Dan and David even bothered to think deeply about those implications. But this-- this is something that a lot of book readers speculated about: whether the man at the House of Black and White who takes Arya in really is Jaqen H'ghar. I think that this is one of those things that was wise to reveal, and even makes me excited for any changes they might make in the future. It was so shocking for everyone watching. And this is awesome! Because the Arya/Jaqen team makes my heart warm.
• Shireen is a sweetheart and it's nice downtime in between arguing. 
  Agh! Stannis' Daughter-- what a sweetheart. She's not very fleshed out in the books. This is another creative change that was made that I think was successful. She teaches Gilly to read, and while that doesn't happen at all in the books, if Shireen met Gilly (like she does), I like to think that that's what would have happened. They would have gotten along-- and they do! I think that, having them meet and giving them any other relationship would have been inorganic.
• Daenerys is flawed and dynamic and it makes me love watching her.
  Daenerys is not a good ruler, let's make that clear. At least, in my eyes. But that's the point of her character. They say that whenever a Targaryen is born, they flip a coin to decide if he will be great or mad. Daenerys seems to struggle with wondering which one she is. She's not the wonderful perfect Khaleesi. She has good intentions, but she is young, brash, and unwise in a lot of ways. She doesn't have her own fully-developed grasp on what "justice" means to her but she works through it anyway. I like her as a character, because she is dynamic. Interesting, because she is highly flawed. I think it's important to recognize that she can do wrong. The slaves of Essos call her Mhysa (mother) for breaking their chains (don't even get me started on the white saviour complex going on here)-- but she is not ready to be a mother yet, it seems like. I like showing her vulerable side. She's young and ruling is not easy. I like that they made her fuck up royally. She isn't looking too great right now, because this is a learning process for her. Oh, plus, Emilia Clarke is absolutely killing the Valyrian accent. Get it, gurl.
• [Bonus]: The Dark-Skinned man guarding Doran Martell? I believe that's Areo Hotah, and he's a Point of View character in the book series (one of the narrators). I'm unspeakably happy that he's making an appearance. 

They DO NOT hurt little girls in Dorne.

Misses

• We explicitly know that Magaery is a two-faced bitch, instead of having to guess.
  I don't love that this is explicit. Something fun about Margaery in the earlier seasons (and even now in the books) is that you don't know if she's sweet or not. Is she ever genuine? Is she ever ingenuine? We're pretty sure it's somewhere in between, but we don't know, right? She's plays gentle and graceful to some people, and then reveals her wicked greediness to those she trusts, but her sweetness also seems real often. Last season, it seemed a lot like she wanted to be the Queen, but most of the behind-the-scenes plotting and scheming seemed to be the doing of her grandmother, Olenna Tyrell. This season, she's taking on a bit more of a flat "smile in front of people, frown in front of my family" dichotomy that spells it out for us: she. just. wants. to. be. Queen. I think it would have been best if we're left to wonder, or at least if we saw the two mixed together simultaneously, rather than seeing someone with two personalities. I love the actress, Natalie Dormer, but it's a little boring.
• Ellaria Sand wants to go to war, and that pretty much kills who she should be. Ellaria is wonderful because when Oberyn dies, she says fights passionately for the Sandsnakes to lay down their weapons-- it's what he would have wanted. That's what Dorne is, really. They are an lively, passionate people who stand up for what they believe in, but at the end of the day, they are lovers. When the Sand Snakes urge Doran to go to war with the Lannisters, she begs them, and says that enough blood has been shed. She is the one who exercises peace and restraint, even in her heartbreak. Now she is just a foil to expose Doran's character. I admired what Ellaria should have been: she showed me that a woman can be strong, and still seek peace. She holds no grudge against Myrcella. "Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken" does not mean you have to be aggressive. I was hoping we'd get this line from the book:
  "Oberyn wanted vengeance for Elia. Now the three of you want vengeance for him. I have four daughters, I remind you. Your sisters. My Elia is fourteen, almost a woman. Obella is twelve, on the brink of maidenhood. They worship you, as Dorea and Loreza worship them. If you should die, must El and Obella seek vengeance for you, then Dorea and Loree for them? Is that how it goes, round and round forever? I ask again, where does it end? I saw your father die. Here is his killer. Can I take a skull to bed with me, to give me comfort in the night? Will it make me laugh, write me songs, care for me when I am old and sick?"
• Jamie Lannister goes to Dorne which feels so unnatural it's unbelievable
  They replace a wonderful character, and don't introduce him. They just cut him out. Aerys Oakheart is a member of the Kingsguard, like Jaime, sent to keep an eye on Myrcella. The wonderful thing about Aerys is that, unlike the rest of the Kingsguard, Aerys is pure, through and through. He's a wonderful foil to all of the darkness in the world of Westeros. Refreshingly noble: but not in the self-righteous way. He's humble, and a little naive, like a child. Jaime Lannister should be in King's Landing. His interactions with Doran might be good: they're both good and reasonable people from opposing houses. But in what world would Jaime be sent to Dorne? The Lannisters would not let it happen. Not only that, but Jaime Lannister is an intrusion in the Dornish peace. Aerys fit there, in a weird way. Jamie seems like a disruption. Unnatural. I feel aggression and violence spawning from this.
• [Bonus]: Bronn and Lollys: Bronn doesn't get to marry Lollys and own lands? He's going to DORNE now?!  

Overrall, great episode. Perfect pacing for Game of Thrones, with just the right amount of gore, while still setting us up for excitement. 9/10 for sure! PS: Happy late birthday, Maisie Willliams (Arya Stark)!

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 5 PREMIERE (aka My Entire Life)

[[Game of Thrones series and book spoilers below]]

Oh wow oh WOW. So for about 9 months in the year, I just kind of float around and exist, but when Game of Thrones is on, I thrive. In highschool, during those long 9 months, people would ask me how long until Game of Thrones premiered and I'd be able to give them a countdown on any given day.

So you cannot imagine my excitement when Season 5 FINALLY went up. Now, as excited as I was about this episode, there were some hits and some misses (especially coming from a book fan).

Hits

1. Maggy the Frog Flashback: I noticed Dan and David like to skip a lot of the history of Westeros, or flashbacks that a lot of characters have: anything kind of "lore"-ish doesn't really seem necessary to them. (I'm pretty upset that they cut out Patchface the Fool...). I'm really happy that they gave some context as to why Cersei hates Margaery. It's this Snow White, mirror-mirror situation-- I like that they point out that this is Cersei's deep fear and not some petty jealousy that appears against every woman to walk into King's Landing. 
2. The existiantially-wrought Tyrion and Varys: Tyrion's old love is a whore named Tysha. When Tywin found her, he gave her to the Kingsguard and sent her off. This was never mentioned in the show, though, which is his entire personal reason for going to Essos. I really liked that they didn't draw up some other reason, like dredging up Shae's death and making a big deal about it. Instead, he's just purposeless, with Varys constantly around for him to verbally reflect that nihilism.  
3. Brienne and Pod meet Sansa and Littlefinger: This is more of a minor thing, but I think it's an interesting choice. I like where Sansa's storyline goes in the books, but it's not very action-y, or made for television. So instead, Brienne does find her. I like the idea of really pushing and making this "hardened" Sansa overt-- she doesn't trust anymore. It gives us more satisfaction than what has happened all the way up until Winds of Winter: Brienne is still searching for her. 
4. Mance Rayder: In the books, he's not really dead. Melisandre casts a spell. It's really a different, crueler wildling made to look like Mance, burned alive. In the show, it really is Mance who is dead. I think it adds more dynamic to his character. The actor, Ciaran Hinds, commented that it wasn't just pride-- and he understood that about Mance. It's this deep seated belief that dying for his people, to show them strength, is the right and best thing for them. I will miss him, for sure, but a big part of me respects his choice. (+ big ups to Jon Snow for being a) being humane and b) being a good shot).
5. The Harpy Statue: It's in the trailer so we think it's this big event, but no. It's in the first episode. It's like "Bam, she's taking over and there was nothing you could do about it. It happened already." That's it. 

Misses

1. Lancel: He's supposed to be this old man. His illness and then his piousness make him all wrinkly and gaunt, and his hair starts to fall out, and he's really quite homely looking. I don't like that they just made him look all clean-shaven and new, and then he's on his way. I thought it would have been weirdly satisfying to see this youthful, blonde-haired boy fallen from grace (I swear I'm not evil....). 
2. The Sons of the Harpy: Not really explained. My boyfriend said that he was a little confused as to who they are after the episode. The Sons of the Harpy are supposed to be the Masters and Sons of the Masters killing their former slaves; and that's kind of a big deal. It sucks that without context, showwatchers only really see them as something of a "pro-slavery terrorist group" and not the fallen Masters themselves. I do love those sweet masks though. They're just the right amount of creepy + ornate. 
3. Viserion and Rhaegal:  It seems pretty clear to me that Danaerys has bonded with Drogon, the biggest dragon, and so she'll never be able to ride Viserion and Rhaegal (after all, "a dragon may have many riders, but a rider may only have one dragon"). The dynamic is interesting now, where the "Mother of Dragons" can't reign in 2 of them, and the other one does whatever he wants. We'll have to see where it goes though. 
4. (Bonus Points) Melisandre: I like what they're doing with her, I just don't like her. Don't you ask Jon Snow if he's a virgin, you cougar. It's weird. 

Overrall, the episode has set up some very exciting things for us, but it was a little underwhelming in terms of the wow factor. Episode 2 is primed to be much better paced. 

I'd give it a 7.5/10, which is low for Game of Thrones. But it's still Game of Thrones. 

Telltale Games' Game of Thrones

Can you guess it? Here's a hint...

THAT'S RIGHT. It's CANON.

We have approached canon. If anyone has ever played a Game of Thrones game, they're mostly pretty disappointing. I haven't played the text-based one, but Ascent, Genesis (the RTS one), and Game of Thrones: The Role-Playing Game...... not a great track record, guys.

Yes, telltale games produces some great work-- they do this fun new take on text-based adventures, kind of, where your dialogue options are what's mostly affecting the environment. It's like Zork on steroids! But I think there are reasonable grounds to remain suspicious of anything that falls under both the categories of "Game of Thrones" and "video game". 

Well congratulations, Telltale Games' Game of Thrones, you've swayed my heart! 

They actually do a wonderful job of telling a story; they practically mimic George R. R. Martin's voice and style while still delivering an entirely unique and original story, and Telltale Games chose the perfect house to follow: House Forrester. It's an insignificant enough house to take creative liberties with what is happening to them starting at the time of "A Storm of Swords" (the 3rd book/season), but a significant enough house that an avid fan would likely recognize the name. 

So far, only 2 out of 5 or 6 episodes have been released-- and I've heard that the iPhone port is quite buggy-- but it's been a lot of fun! Highly recommended. 

The gamer in me says 6/10. The Game of Thrones fan says 9. As long as you're not looking for a conventional video game, I'd give it a 7.5 overall. Pretty happy! 

Getting Really Sad When Your Favourite Thing Gets Popular

Am I the only one who does that? Because for me, that definitely happened with Game of Thrones, but it's applicable to anything! The revival of Doctor Who, when Scott Pilgrim was made into a movie, Community-- ya know.

I had started watching it from the very first episode (April 17, 2011) and from then on, I was hooked. I devoured the first four books (and pretty much absorbed them into my skin) but by the time I was on the 5th one, I was literally afraid that i would feel purposeless without A Song of Ice and Fire.

 So I cut down my reading to one page a day. Eventually I gave up on that and finished Dance with Dragons, too, and I only had 2 or 3 other friends who really knew what Game of Thrones was.

Years later, it started getting popular. It was exciting for me! My high school knew that I was the go-to person about it, and people would ask me for a countdown exactly of how many days until the next season. Trying to convince people to read the books was like a challenge.

But then it grew... and grew... and grew... suddenly, it was abnormal if you didn't like Game of Thrones. It didn't feel like my special thing anymore, events that last year were empty were sold out and packed, and everybody was talking about it. I felt like Tyrion post-Purple Wedding but pre-Essos

But then it hit me... everyone was talking about it. 

Now, I have so many people I can rave to about Game of Thrones! And every time someone who watches the show tells me they're going to start reading the books, I absolutely light up! My dad started reading the series and today asked me if I knew that Jamie and Cersei were twins. This is the man who thought that Tywin and Tyrion were both named Tywin. Precious.

It's not your special little thing anymore, but a bigger fanbase means more events, means the show doesn't get cancelled, means even more for you!

Exciting, right? At least, most of the time.

Why the Game of Thrones Season 5 Teaser Is Brilliant

Game of Thrones is probably the most popular television show out there right now, right? I mean, I at least know it's the most torrented, so that has to count for something. But it's only around for like 11/52 weeks of the year, so it's hard for some people to stay attached during the off-season, you know?

There's no official trailer yet (although a lot of the castings, including the Sand Snakes, have already been announced) but everyone over at HBO certainly has a clever way of making sure you stay invested in the show when April 2015 rolls around.

They've just tweeted/launched this website called The Three Eyed Raven.

If you input your twitter or cell number into the website, you'll get this cute little text message:

Now, Game of Thrones is indefinitely my first love (test me on Robert's Rebellion!), but I'm not going to just wait around for it to come back for 41 weeks out of the year, right? I have too many shows to watch (Archer/Walking Dead/Orange is the New Black/Misfits/Old episodes of Community/terrible sitcom ripoffs of Friends)!

I'm still not sure what the Sight is (if anyone has any idea, please let me know in the comments), but I can rest easy knowing I'll be notified immediately and as soon as possible! 

Winds of Winter Could Take HOW MUCH LONGER?

3 years. Up to 3 years.

Earlier this year some speculation went up about how Winds of Winter was going to be released at the same time as season 5. Perfect, right? As show watchers are devouring season 5, the book readers are on to book 6; this would, no doubt, also encourage a lot of Game of Thrones fans to start reading the Song of Ice and Fire series.

When I heard this news, I screamed (much to the annoyance of my neighbours. I'm sorry.) and there were literal tears in my eyes. Actual, factual tears of excitement and disbelief because, as I gushed to my friends and family, if the book and the season came out at the same time I would not count on being able to handle myself. I would honestly not know what to do. I would be a puddle on the floor.

And I was right not to believe that great news.

It turns out the Spring 2015 release date was a hoax and, unlike those hoaxes of dead celebrities (really? All they need to do is tweet and you know that they're alive...), GRRM isn't actually active enough to confirm or deny very much very often. In fact, when he is around, he just likes to dick around:

Instead, there has been some speculation that, with The World of Ice and Fire coming out in October 2014 this month, Winds of Winter will release in October or November of 2015 for alignment purposes. While possible, knowing GRRM's history with reaching deadlines, October 2015 is... optimistic. 

More reliable sources say "up to 3 years", including once source which says that George R. R. Martin has actually only written a few chapters of the novel despite having already released a few chapters to the public. 

I'm not going to hold my breath for Winds of Winter, and just in case, in 2012 I found this great list of "Books to Read While Waiting for the Next Song of Ice and Fire" which, along with my own book list, I am still working through. 

The World of Ice and Fire

HOLY CRAP I'M SO EXCITED! New book, new book, new book!

October 28th: Release date for the newest A Song of Ice and Fire book, a World of Ice and Fire, which is a comprehensive history of Westeros. 

Sure, we know a lot about Westeros already. It's mildly disappointing because most of the lore that we get is already about Westerosi history.

Martin has already written a series of prequel novellas called Tales of Dunk and Egg which goes back 90 years before A Game of Thrones (you might recognize Dunk from Old Nan's stories). We've already pieced together most of the Targaryen family tree, which was specifically mentioned as being part of AWOIAF. What's more, the characters make enough mention to Westerosi history that we can't be finding out too much new information.

On the other hand, I'd love to get more insight on Robert's Rebellion, and I'm sure there are a lot of things in the Age of Heroes that are more interesting than that. Illustrations of Casterly Rock, Dragonstone, or the Water Gardens by Ted Nasmith (who did illustration work for J. R. R. Tolkien) would make the rest of the book worth it on its own. Plus, it'd be nice to have a laid out explanation of what exactly went on in the Dawn Age other than the arrival of the First Men.

Okay. The minor but obvious detail being that Martin didn't actually write this, so he can't formulate new lore and give us a comprehensive history of Essos. Fair. He was used as consultation to make sure everything written was cannon, but he's probably got other things to do (hopefully like write Winds of Winter). If there is one thing that we know how to do, it's cut GRRM some slack.

As excited as I am for AWOIAF, though, I am hoping that The Winds of Winter or A Dream of Spring (the 7th and final book in GRRM's plans as of right now) goes deeper into the history and culture of Essos. Right now, the entire continent seems to be written off as "some other foreign place where everyone has accents". If a AWOIAF sequel comes out, I would be a happy camper!

Anyway, here's hoping it's good. Exactly 5 weeks until release!!

WHOA: Super Quick Game of Thrones Update

Super quick because I'm at work (oops) but looks like the internet's favourite theory has been confirmed by GRRM himself! I'm not sure how true it is, but it's worth looking at:

Confirmation here

Game of Thrones: R+L Theory Confirmed By Sean Bean?

Okay so I'm just going to say now that this post isn't technically a spoiler because it's all speculation. That being said, Jon Snow's parentage might be discussed in the last 2 books, so you might not want to read ahead.

Content of the mildly spoil-y nature below the gif. 

If you've read the books, or just really love the Song of Ice and Fire lore, you probably have already immersed yourself in the massive discussion about Jon Snow's parentage, the most popular theory being the R+L theory going back even earlier than this thread from 2006. This theory isn't new. 

What is the R+L Theory? 

The theory that Jon Snow's parents are actually Rhaegar Targaryen, the previous heir to the Iron Throne/the son of the Mad King, and Lyanna Stark, Eddard Stark's dead sister. Their history goes that before Game of Thrones (book/season 1), Rhaegar Targaryen crowned Lyanna Stark the Queen of Love and Beauty, instead of the princess of Dorne (his wife, Elia). He allegedly kidnapped her years later, which incited Robert's Rebellion, causing Robert Baratheon to win the throne and set the events for the series. Total possible that he could've impregnated her just before going off to war. 

What Supports This?

Eddard claims that he caved and impregnated a milkmaid named Wylla while gone away from the war (explaining why Catelyn hates Jon so much), but most people have pointed out that Eddard has far too much honour ever to do that. Still, Jon undeniably looks like Eddard and Arya, so it's unlikely he's not at least half of a Stark. Arya is also said to look like a spitting image of Lyanna. Also, we know that Eddard made a "secret promise" to Lyanna (the only living person who knows this secret now being Howland Reed). 

Rhaegar, Elia, and Lyanna all being dead, Eddard agreed to raise Jon.

The main implications of this theory: 

• Jon is half Targaryen: if Rhaegar and Lyanna married in secret, Jon is the heir to the Iron Throne
• Jon could marry Daenerys 

Personally, I've always believed in the A+E theory from 2005 that Eddard Stark really is Jon's father, and the mother is Ashara Dayne, Eddard's true love who committed suicide. I'll probably never really stop believing that theory in my heart, but Sean Bean did an AMA on Reddit. And while it was great (no, really. A lot of great things happened that night.) Nothing as great as the nerd-important revelations he revealed about Jon Snow not being Eddard's: 

What do you think, is this enough confirmation that Rhaegar and Lyanna are a thing? 

Okay. So it doesn't exactly confirm Rhaegar and Lyanna. But I think we can say that Jon's mother was not a milkmaid named Wylla (and probably not Ashara Dayne either ☹)